Establishing a Feedback Culture

Honesty = Honoring

Proverbs 27:6 – “Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.”

Back in the summer of 2002, a new show burst onto the scene and took the world by storm — American Idol. It was the show everyone was talking about, and regardless of your upbringing, you knew about this hit sensation.

Growing up, I watched this show religiously every single week with my family, and man, did we look forward to it! You never knew what was going to happen. While I loved watching these incredibly talented artists compete to become the next American Idol, my family had a different favorite part—the worst singers on the show!

You know what I’m talking about. Every week, there was always someone who had grown up "singing" while being told by friends and family how amazing they were. But the truth? They were awful. They couldn’t sing, couldn’t hold a tune, and had no idea how bad they really were because no one had ever told them the truth. That is, until they walked into that audition room and faced the brutally honest Simon Cowell, the smooth and cool Randy Jackson, and the kind yet talented Paula Abdul.

Then came the moment of truth. They would open their mouth to sing, and it was just… awful—sometimes painful to watch. You could see the judges trying to stay professional, struggling not to laugh. Sometimes, Simon would end the torture with a casual, “We’ve heard enough,” bringing their dream-crushing performance to a merciful stop. Then, the truth would come out. The judges gave real feedback—harsh but honest. And more often than not, the contestant was completely blindsided. Up to this moment, they had been brainwashed into thinking they were the greatest thing since sliced bread. I remember watching these moments and thinking: If their family had just been honest from the start, this poor person wouldn’t have had to endure such public humiliation.

The Church and Feedback

Unfortunately, we do this a lot in the church. Think about it — how many times do we have an opportunity to give honest feedback to a leader, team member, or volunteer, but we hesitate because we’re afraid of hurting their feelings? Instead, when someone on our team asks for feedback, we freeze and say the safest thing we can think of: Great job! — even when it wasn’t actually a great job.

But why do we do this? I think sometimes our motives are pure and that we want to “honor” the person, but in the process, we end up compromising honesty with the person.

The bottom line? It’s critical to develop a healthy feedback culture in your organization. Yes, I said healthy feedback culture. Here are a few things to consider as you work through this:

1. Culture Takes Time

Culture doesn’t change overnight just because you talk about it once. It’s built over time throughconsistent reinforcement and example. Talk about feedback regularly in team meetings, oversight meetings, and one-on-one conversations.

2. Set the Example

Ask for feedback from your team members. Lead the way by saying:

· “How can I lead you better?”

· “How did I come across in that meeting or event?”

Showing a willingness to receive feedback communicates that feedback culture starts from the top down.

3. Team Buy-In

While the leader sets the tone, do the other leaders in your organization embrace and reinforce the same culture? When everyone is on board, the whole team will lean in.

4. Lead Relationally

Take time to get to know your team members beyond just their volunteer status on Planning Center. It’s huge. It shows that we care—because we actually do. We just need to remind ourselves to slow down and invest in the people we’re leading.

5. Honesty = Honoring

Sometimes, we think honoring someone means protecting them from potentially getting their feelings hurt. But here’s the thing: we are called to steward the leaders and teams around us. That means it’s our responsibility to be honest with them when it comes to feedback. One day, they will no longer be under our leadership, and it’s our job to make sure we’ve prepared them for their next step.

The Power of Embracing Feedback

When we, as leaders, embrace the culture of giving and receiving feedback, we open the door for our teams to be honest and grow in their leadership. We also pave the way for real, honest, and healthy growth in every individual who serves on our team.

Tim Cruz

Guest Writer, Associate Campus Pastor - Gateway Prosper

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